The catch at Hotel das Amoreiras

This is a residential garden square above the city centre, not the old town. On foot from the door, the Príncipe Real garden is 15 minutes, Praça Luís de Camões in Chiado 27, Rossio 28 and Praça do Comércio 38, and every one of those walks home is uphill.

The link is the 24E tram, which stops at the square and runs down through Príncipe Real to Camões. On Carris's current timetable the last one back up leaves Camões at 20:05 on weekdays, 19:15 on Saturdays and 18:05 on Sundays and holidays, and a single fare bought on board is 3.30 euros. After that, the way home from dinner in Chiado or Bairro Alto is the 758 bus, which leaves Camões for Rato until 00:13 every night and stops five minutes' walk from the door, or a taxi, or the climb.

The hotel's own site lists three things to eat and drink: breakfast, the bar and an afternoon tea. There is no restaurant, and no gym, spa or pool either. Breakfast is cooked to order, but it ends at noon. After that, the bar's printed savoury menu is hummus at 6 euros, Portuguese burrata with tomatoes at 10, Azeitão sheep's cheese at 8 and Pata Negra ham at 12, with milk tart, chocolate cake and banana bread for afters. Afternoon tea is 22 euros a head, for at least two, booked 24 hours ahead.

The bar is also open to non-residents, and the hotel's advice to them is to book a table ahead when the house is busy, so on a full evening your hotel bar is also the neighbourhood's.

The Mini Deluxe is the cheapest room in the house, and the hotel is candid about who it is for: solo travellers and couples who like being close. It is 14 square metres against 20 for either Deluxe, with a queen or king bed and the same marble walk-in rain shower. For 9 to 11 February 2027 it was about 248 euros a night, non-refundable with breakfast, against 279 for a Deluxe Courtyard, and one guest pays exactly what two do.

Nineteen rooms in two joined townhouses means no two rooms are quite alike, and the hotel says so under every room description: the configuration of the building means views and layout can differ within the same category. The Deluxe Courtyard is the clearest case. Most look at the centenary olive tree from a private balcony through floor-to-ceiling windows; the rest, in the hotel's own words, have limited views. Garden View rooms have floor-to-ceiling windows or large ones, the Mini Deluxe can face either side, and most bathrooms, not all, have a large window.

The garden in Garden View is Jardim das Amoreiras, the public square with the aqueduct at its end. The hotel's own outdoor space is the courtyard. And there are only two suites, one of each.

The hotel's rule is absolute: two adults, or one adult and one child, per room, and for security and regulatory reasons no third guest in any circumstances, even a baby. There are no cots and no extra beds, and pets are not allowed. A family of three needs two rooms.

The money is strict too. Flexible rates must be cancelled three days before arrival for rooms and seven for suites, or the whole stay is charged; the hotel may take the full amount 24 hours before you arrive; and the card used to book must be shown at check-in, in the name of the guest checking in.