The catch at Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora

The hotel's own site sells 22 room types, a saltwater infinity pool of more than 5,000 square metres with 80 water beds, and a resort guests rate well. The recurring themes are what scale does in a school holiday: guests report sunbeds reserved with towels from early morning, queues at breakfast between nine and half past ten, slow drinks service around the pools, and a restaurant booking system that fills fast in peak weeks.

The contrast is RedLevel, which guests rate higher still. The hotel's own RedLevel page lists a private lounge with breakfast, an adults-only pool open from 10:00 to 18:30 and priority restaurant reservations. Same resort, different experience, and the difference is the crowd.

The hotel's own site says it is 0.05 km from the beach and lists direct access to it, and both are true, but the access is the Areia beach bar built on the rocks and the beach is Playa de Alcalá, a small strip of black volcanic sand across the road. The photograph that sells the place is the infinity pool, because the pool is the point; the sea in front of it is for looking at, and swimming off the rocks depends on the swell.

This is the west coast, which gives you the sunset over La Gomera from anything facing west, but if a soft sandy beach is the holiday, our verdict stands: this is not the one.

The hotel puts itself 0.7 km from the village centre and 35 km from Tenerife South, and the timings bear that out: 31 minutes to the airport by car, 20 minutes to Playa del Duque in Costa Adeje, 47 minutes on foot to Playa San Juan, the next village south. Alcalá itself has a harbour, a square and enough restaurants for a week, three of them within ten minutes on foot, but it has no strip, no shopping and no nightlife beyond the resort's own bars.

Inside the gates the hotel lists sports courts, a gym with personal training at extra charge and a spa of 2,000 square metres, so it is built for guests who stay put. It also sells car-park spaces as a bookable extra and publishes no price. For anyone who wants to move around the island, the car is not optional, so ask what parking costs before you arrive.

The hotel's own pages are candid if you read the small print. Bali beds carry an extra fee. The spa's water circuit is complimentary only when you book a treatment or arrive on an all-inclusive plan; otherwise it is paid. Dúo, the steakhouse, is stated as not included in half board, full board or all-inclusive. Le Bistrot Provençal is reserved for RedLevel guests on half board, Luxury All-Inclusive or Luxury plans. Dos Naifes, the Sol Repsol restaurant, is adults only with an elegant dress code and a 10 percent discount for RedLevel guests, not a free table. The Farm Caretakers, the kids' club for 8 months to 4 years, charges for its supervised morning session, 10:00 to 13:00, while its afternoon Stay & Play, 14:30 to 17:30, is free, and The Ocean Navigators runs activities for ages 5 to 11.

Guests also report being pressed to upgrade to RedLevel at check-in rather than simply offered it.

The resort opened in 2008, and the hotel publishes no date for a major renovation. Guest ratings are respectable for 600 rooms, but the themes underneath are specific: guests report loose shower tiles, water leaking from bathrooms, drain smells in particular blocks and furniture that has had eighteen years of sun. RedLevel rates higher, and its villas with heated private pools are the exception rather than the rule.

Every Deluxe category in the main hotel is 54 square metres, the Ocean Front 59, which is generous, so the question is not space but state. Which block you land in matters more than which category you paid for.