The catch at The Ritz-Carlton Tenerife, Abama

The hotel's own site counts 459 rooms, suites and penthouses across three parts of the estate: the Citadel, the Retreat and the Penthouses Collection, with the Retreat described as four lanes of two-storey casitas set against the hillside. The beach is not at the bottom of the garden. The hotel's experiences page says guests reach Abama Beach by a private train down to the shore, and the pools open on their own clocks, the Lagoon and Persian Garden pools from 9 to 6 and the Serenity pool from 10 to 6, with the Serenity pool reserved for guests aged 13 and over.

Guests report long walks, steep steps and a beach path with uneven stairs and no handrail, and the pattern shows in their ratings, which put location well below rooms and cleanliness. People who arrive expecting a boutique hotel are the ones writing the low scores.

The address is Carretera General TF-47 at kilometre 9, on the west coast in Guía de Isora. The nearest restaurant that is not on the hotel's own list is Melvin, Martín Berasategui's third Tenerife table, at Las Terrazas de Abama on the same estate, and the walk from the Citadel is 15 minutes; by car it is 4. Playa San Juan, the nearest village with a seafront and a fish restaurant, is 6 minutes by car. Nothing off the hotel's own list is inside ten minutes on foot.

The hotel's own transfer from Tenerife Sur, 30 km away, is priced on its site at 128.84 euros one way and 257.69 return; from Tenerife Norte, 85 km, it is 208.60 one way. Self-parking and valet parking are both complimentary for guests, which is the hotel telling you what to do.

Two numbers on the hotel's own pages set the tone. The spa page says hotel guests pay a 25 euro entrance fee to use the water facilities, the Turkish bath, hydrotherapy pool, sauna and cold plunge, unless they book a treatment; treatments are for over-18s and the gym for over-16s. And the dining page's own FAQ says breakfast is complimentary in one line and then, a few lines later, that breakfast is available at El Mirador and La Veranda for a fee, which is the shape of a hotel selling both room-only and breakfast rates. Guests on room-only rates report paying for breakfast.

Add a minibar the room cards mark as chargeable, M.B in the top Michelin price band, and an airport transfer at 128.84 euros each way. Value is what guests rate lowest, below location and well below rooms and cleanliness, and this is why.

The hotel's own dining page gives the schedule. M.B, the two-star room, is open Wednesday to Saturday from 7 to 10 in the evening and closed Sunday to Tuesday. Akira Back is Tuesday to Saturday, 7 to 10, closed Sunday and Monday. Verde Mar, the vegetable kitchen, is closed Wednesday and Thursday. Verona, El Mirador and Txoko are open every night, and The Beach Club stops at 6. On a Sunday or Monday in season, with both headline kitchens shut, that leaves Verona, El Mirador, Txoko and Verde Mar for 459 rooms.

This is the most repeated complaint in recent guest feedback: full restaurants, no table for days, and dinner from the room-service card. The remedy is not on site, because nothing off the estate is walkable.

The pools, the adults-only areas and the all-day refreshments in the pictures belong to the Retreat, and the hotel sells them by room category. Every Retreat room card carries the line Access to Retreat Experiences, plus complimentary pressing of two garments a stay; no Citadel room or suite below the two penthouses does. The Del Mar infinity pool is listed on the hotel's own page as exclusive to Retreat guests, and the four Retreat pools include adults-only and family options.

The entry Citadel room is a 50 m² Deluxe Room, Resort View, with a balcony; the card says resort view and nothing more, and the rooms page describes the Citadel as the lively half, with daily celebrations, events and live music. The ocean is a separate category. Families should also note that Retreat rooms and one-bedroom suites do not permit rollaway beds (only the Retreat Two Bedroom Suite does), and the Adults Only rooms do not permit cribs.